Hey, I′m Ouroborista, though that′s a mouthful, so ″Ouro″ is fine. I′m a writer, pretentious web-specter and miscellaneous creative, striving to be more than the sum of my syllables. Pronouns: They/Them Mail: telomagnetics@pm.com Element: @Ouroborista Discord: ouroborista Mastodon: @Ouro@writing.exchange Tumblr: verdant-lobotany YouTube: Ouroborista AO3: Ouroborista

Contact me for anything, but especially if you wish to monetarily support my continued existence in exchange for writing, art or literally all else you might desire. I have in the past been paid for backstories, comic-book-scripts and drawings, but feel free to add new things to that list. Give me money. I will do anything.


What you've always wanted to know, but never dared to ask, about Ouroborista

Year of birth?

1997.

Zodiac sign?

Libra.

Languages?

German, fluent English, passable French, some Japanese.

Classpect?

Seer of Void.

Favourite colour?

Soft purples and greens.

Blood type?

0+.

Neurotype?

Aesthetician.

Gender?

No thank you (male passing).

Politics?

Good Some flavour of leftcom.

Why are you like this?

The internet, critical theory and my own fucked up little brain.

Height?

175 cm.

Weight?

59 kg.

Shoe size?

41.

Hair length (stretched out)?

~44 cm.

Hair length (curled)?

Varies.

Top land speed?

25 km/h.

Favourite genre?

Encyclopedic fiction.

Wanna collab?

Depends on what, but sure, message me.

Where does the name come from?

Portmanteau of ouroboros and barista.

What is your best quality?

Cooking skill.

What is your best quantity?

Eclectic interests.

Sexuality?

Pan.

MBTI?

ENFJ.

Enneagram?

8.

Kokoro wish?

Fully automated gay luxury communism.

More realistically?

Moving a significant number of friends into a house somewhere.

Dogs or cats?

Cats.

Tee or coffee?

Coffee (black).

Mountains or sea?

Mountains.

Why this site?

Because I hate the consolidation of the internet. I hate uniformity. I hate sleek, polished, soulless design and algorithms and fucking dopamine hacking. Please run away with me.

Favourite book (fiction)?

Pale Fire.

Favourite book (non-fiction)?

Anti Oedipus.

Favourite movie?

Who's afraid of Virginia Woolf.

Favourite anime?

Paranoia Agent.

What is a man?

A pointless abstraction.

Favourite show?

House M.D.

Favourite season?

Autumn.

Favourite band?

Streetlight Manifesto.

Favourite food?

Thai curry.

Biggest fear?

Stasis. That things might fundamentally stay like this

Favourite Homestuck?

Rose Lalonde.

What is life?

A tragedy of atoms.

Favourite insect?

Moth.

Favourite YouTube video?

Prologue to Actualize.

Do the ends justify the means?

Yes.

Favourite podcast?

Greater Boston.

Favourite alcohol?

Dry red wine.

Favourite cocktail?

Boulevardier.

Favourite bar in Dresden Germany?

The Lappen.

Gamer?

Phobic.

Favourite game?

VA-11 Hall-A.

Favourite scent?

Fresh coriander.

Favourite sound?

Tough call between the laughter of friends and the humming of street lights.

Favourite element?

Iodine.

Dominant hand?

Right.

How long is this list?

100 entries.

Which superpower?

Default-off arbitrary-distance lock-on exploratory telepathy.

Best word?

Portentous.

Worst word?

Plinth.

Beast within?

Pigeon.

What is art?

Things which feel like sunsets.

Worst taste?

Sugar (liquid). Especially sodas.

Worst emotion?

Nostalgia.

Best emotion?

Frisson.

Best tea?

Green.

Vriska?

Vriska.

If you got to have a pokemon irl, which one?

Espeon.

Which TMA entity would you be an avatar for?

The Vast.

What sort of ATLA bender would you want to be?

Earth.

Can you touch the tip of your nose with your tongue?

No.

Guilty pleasure?

I don't believe in "so bad it's good" and I think ironic appreciation is for cowards who are ashamed of their own tastes.

So you actually like Twilight?

Yes.

Best girl?

Esme Weatherwax.

Best boy?

Ramsey Murdoch (Epithet Erased).

Best pony?

Twilight Sparkle.

Fuck marry kill?

Kill marry, fuck kill, marry fuck.

Which fictional character would you most want to have a conversation with?

Disjointed (Walkaway).

Which real person?

James Joyce.

Who's your favourite character you've written?

Caitlyn Jeanne Everard (Sky-Out).

Sleeping position?

Left side or back.

Mein schönes Fräulein, darf ich wagen, meinen Arm und Geleit Ihr anzutragen?

Bin weder Fräulein, weder schön, kann ungeleitet nach Hause gehn.

First thing you ever wrote?

Either a comic about my little brother or detective Conan fanfic. Don't know which was first.

Best before?

The great unravelling.

What is philosophy?

Primate psychology.

Muppet?

Plausibly.

Worst thing about the internet?

Unconsented advertising.

When should I carry a knife?

Always.

What's a good point made by people you hate?

Exit over voice.

When?

Sooner than you think.

Where?

Closer than you think.

Who?

Yes. Them.

What?

You heard me.

Why?

Causality as a comforting lie embedded in the brainstem.

How?

With the candlestick.

Plans?

The very humble ambition to acquire every skill. I'm still learning drawing. Still learning coding, still learning gardening, still learning Japanese. None of them at a level which would satisfy me yet. After that, it's on to another language, Latin or Russian, woodworking, animation, robotics. Maybe I'll even get to music before the universe eats itself, or my corporeal husk expires. Doubtful, though hope famously dies last and with no one to hear it scream.

Tics?

Constant leg bouncing.

Best genre of location?

Beneath bridges.

Question to Pythia?

"Wanna run?".

How long did this take?

About two hours.

You understand, of course, that everything I say is horseshit?

Of course.


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